Feeling satisfied with our lives in the contemporary fast-paced way of life is constantly a moving target. How can we get what we want if we do not even have the time to think about what we want? The thing is it is very simple to get what we want. It is just not easy.
You are dealing with a difficult period in your life. Every night you go to bed late, telling yourself that you will get up early tomorrow to get started on pulling your life back together; to apply for the job, to arrange that appointment, to start doing all the tasks you have postponed for several days now. Nonetheless, every morning the same thing happens. The alarm will ring, and you will roll over, turn it off, and go back to sleep. You will wake up late, feel like a failure, and get little done throughout the day.
Procrastination is a “lifesaver” for allowing us to not do the things we don’t want to do. When we were kids, our parents made us do all the things we did not feel like doing. And even if we did them eventually, there would be soon something new that we did not feel like doing. How can we reach where we want if the way to success is made up entirely of things we don’t want to do? In a humorous talk back in 2013, American lawyer and well-being author, Mel Robbins, tries to answer this question, explaining how turning off our brain’s autopilot and demolishing our comfort zones is key to a rewarding life.
I think when you feel stuck or dissatisfied in your life it’s a signal. And it’s not a signal that your life is broken, it’s a signal that one of your most basic needs is not being met…Your entire life and your soul need exploration and growth and the only way you’ll get these is by forcing yourself to be uncomfortable, forcing yourself to get outside out of your head,
…she argued.
#1 Hack you brain: The 5-second rule
The 5-Second Rule is as simple as it sounds and requires having 5 seconds to act out before our mind convinces us to do otherwise. According to Robbins, when you do not feel like getting up in the morning and throwing yourself into the new day, you only have to count from 5 to 1 and just force yourself to do it. Then, this idea can be applied also throughout the day, for every important task that you feel like putting off.
“If you have an instinct to act on a goal, you must physically move within 5 seconds or your brain will kill it. The moment you feel an instinct or a desire to act on a goal or a commitment, use the Rule. When you feel yourself hesitate before doing something that you know you should do, count 5-4-3-2-1-GO and move towards action.”
The main idea is that, as you count down from 5 to 1, you actually “distract” your brain from coming up with reasons why you should do something else instead, like the laundry. This makes the 5-second rule a simple, yet efficient brain hack, keeping us from sabotaging our own efforts and goals.
Try this tomorrow morning set your alarm for 30 minutes earlier and then when it goes off take those sheets, throw them off and stand up and start your day; No snooze, no delay…The reason why I want you to do it is that you will come face-to-face with the physical force that’s required to change your behavior,
…Robbins advised.
#2 Stop saying “I am fine”
“Saying that you’re fine is actually genius because if you are fine, you don’t have to do anything about it,” Robbins said in her 2013 TEDx talk, criticizing one of the most counter-productive dialogue habits that people have integrated into their everyday interactions.
“The bigger issue with “fine” is that you say it to yourself…you have convinced yourself that you are fine not having it. That’s why you’re not pushing yourself.”
#3 Remember: You are never going to feel like it
“In any area of your life that you want to change, there is one fact that you need to know: You are never going to feel like it,”
…Robbins emphasized.
Research on the unconscious mind has shown that the brain makes judgments and decisions quickly and automatically, what is often described as “autopilot” mechanism. On the other hand, activation energy is the force required to get you to change from what you are doing on autopilot, in order to do something new. The human brain is designed to resist any change because change is uncertain and scary. This is why the 5-second rule is a useful hack to trick our brain, before fear and overanalyzing take over.
“If you listen to how you feel when it comes to what you want, you will not get it. Because you will never feel like it and you need to get outside your comfort zone. It is not about taking risks; it is about getting outside your comfort zone. Those first three seconds when you push yourself out of bed they blow, but once you’re up, it’s great,”
…said Robbins.
