Talking to ourselves is sometimes associated with “being crazy”, but research suggests that self-talking may not only be completely normal human behavior, but it can actually be pretty beneficial. For example, self-talking is helpful both in everyday life and the working environment for managing our emotions and boosting our confidence.
Talking to yourself can be beneficial in many ways. This is how self-talking can help you, both in everyday life and at work:
- Stay organized: Self-talking can help you remind yourself of the to-do list for today or remind you of where you put that folder.
- Maintain motivation: Convincing yourself to do that task that you don’t really want to do works for some people to keep their motivation up. In addition, if you are feeling down or unmotivated, you might talk to yourself and remind yourself of your goals and how important it is to keep going.
- Improve your mental health: By talking kindly to yourself, you can be more aware of your mental state, and address and manage issues as they arise. Additionally, self-talk can help you to reframe negative thoughts and experiences and provide an opportunity to reflect on lessons learned and successes achieved.
- Work through difficult emotions: Talking to yourself can be a way to express your feelings and “take it all out” without having to talk to someone else. This can be helpful, for example, if you know that expressing your anger to that annoying colleague will not lead to better conditions for either of you at work.
- See things more clearly: When putting thoughts into words, we are better able to gain clarity and perspective on a situation, which can be helpful when making decisions. In this way, we may be more capable of working through problems and coming up with solutions.
- Make better sense of emotions: When you talk to yourself about your feelings, it can help you become more aware of them and better understand why you are feeling the way you do. This, in turn, can help you manage your emotions more effectively.
- Boost confidence: Talking to yourself can be an easy way to remind yourself of your own strengths and capabilities and enhance your self-esteem.
Watch out: There are two types of self-talk
- Positive self-talk is when you are telling yourself that you can do something, e.g., that you can manage this work task, or that you are strong enough to cope with that stressful situation. As it is proven that words have an effect on our thoughts, positive self-talking can help boost your confidence and motivate you to do things that you would not normally do.
- Negative self-talk is when you talk to yourself in a negative way. This could include telling yourself that you are incapable of doing this work task or that you are weak. So, negative self-talk can have the opposite effect and make you feel worse about yourself and your abilities. Doing this for years can also create chronic patterns of negative self-beliefs.
This is why it is important to be aware of the type of self-talk that you use!
Improving mental health through self-talking: Key tips
1. Speak kindly to yourself: The language we use has a great impact on our thoughts and overall positivity. Use positive, kind, and compassionate words to describe yourself. Avoid self-criticism and negative language.
2. Use the second person: A study into how motivational self-talk affected basketball players during practice showed that using positive self-talk in the second or third person was more effective.
3. Acknowledge and accept your feelings: Allow yourself to feel all emotions, both positive and negative. This can help you to express yourself more fully and understand yourself better.
4. Focus on the present: Avoid ruminating on the past or worrying about the future. Remind yourself to stay focused on the present moment.
5. Talk yourself through difficult tasks: Break down big tasks into smaller, more manageable chunks, and talk yourself through each step.
6. Give yourself credit: Acknowledge your successes, big or small. Celebrate your wins and be proud of yourself.
7. Set realistic expectations: Do not expect perfection or set unattainable goals. Lower your expectations of yourself to be more realistic and achievable.
8. Challenge your negative thoughts: Whenever you experience negative thoughts or self-doubt, try to challenge your thinking. This is not the easiest thing to do and requires training. Learning how to identify negative thoughts and finding evidence to challenge them is a good start.
9. Find gratitude: Despite how difficult things are, we all have things we are grateful for. So, find something to be grateful for each day and integrate it into your self-talking. This can boost your mood and help you to appreciate the positive things in life.
Self-talking: When is it a problem?
Although talking to yourself can be beneficial, it can become a problem when it starts to interfere with your daily life. If you find yourself talking to yourself more than usual, or if you are having difficulty concentrating or focusing on tasks, it could be a sign of mental health issues. This situation may require you to ask for help from a mental health professional, who can provide you with the tools and strategies you need to manage your self-talk.
