Anyone finding themselves in a working environment has found themselves facing the need for conflict resolution. The response to conflict, of course, differs from person to person, with others choosing to mediate the dispute, others get really angry, or even stressed. Except for the way to address a conflict, one thing is certain, disagreements will always exist, especially in a working environment. In this article, we learn what exactly is conflict resolution, and what are the best ways to manage it effectively.
What is conflict resolution?
Conflict may take place between co-workers, or between supervisors and subordinates, or even between service providers and their clients or customers. Of course, conflict does not only occur in the workplace but also in our everyday lives, with our friends and loved ones.
Some of the conflicts we face may be arbitrary, meaning at the end of them there is not one winner, but rather a solution to a problem, so the work can continue.
One the other hand, many conflicts do reflect real disagreements about how an organization should operate.
Essentially conflict arises from differences, and whenever people disagree over their values, motivations, perceptions, ideas, or desires.
Here is where conflict resolution comes, as the process through which two or more parties reach a peaceful resolution to a dispute. The keyword here is peaceful.
1. A conflict is more than just a disagreement, as one or both parties perceive a threat.
2. Conflicts fester when ignored. As they represent a potential threat to our well-being, they remain until we face them.
3. Our respond to conflicts is not always objective, as it is affected by our perceptions of the situation.
How to address conflicts effectively
Conflict can resurface strong emotions that could hurt feelings, lead to disappointment, and discomfort. This can get worse if conflicts are handled in an unhealthy way. However, when conflict is managed in a healthy manner, then it can actually increase understanding between the two parties, enhance trust, and even strengthen the relationship.
1. Negotiation
The basic principles of negotiation in dealmaking can also be applied to conflict resolution. The parties should make an effort to understand each other’s and try to reach an agreement. By brainstorming options and looking for possible solutions across issues, you may be able to negotiate a satisfactory outcome to your dispute.
2. Be cool
When we find ourselves in a dispute, we should manage stress quickly while remaining alert and calm. By staying calm, we can accurately read verbal and nonverbal communication.
3. Humor
Many disputes can be resolved through humorous communication. With humor, people say more easily things that otherwise would be difficult to express without offending someone. Nevertheless, one factor is very important when using humor. It is important that you laugh with the other person, not at them. When humor is being used the right way, it can successfully reduce tension and anger, reframe problems, and put the situation into perspective.
4. It is not always about being right
As said before, sometimes an argument must be resolved not for someone to win, but so our lives can move forward. Maintaining and strengthening a relationship, rather than “winning” the argument, should be the first priority. Everyone should be respectful of the other person and their viewpoint.
5. Pick your battles
Not every conflict is worth of being resolved. Such a process is draining, so consider if the issue in hand is really worth your time and energy.
6. Mediation
In mediation, a third neutral party helps the disputants come to a consensus. The third-party does not impose a solution, but they encourage disputants to explore the interests underlying their positions.
7. Let go
If you can’t come to an agreement, agree to disagree. It takes two people to keep an argument going. If you do not see a light at the end of a tunnel, you can choose to disengage and move on.
8. Forgive
You have to be willing to forgive others in order to truly resolve a conflict. The urge to punish can be great, but it will eventually only drain your life.
Conflict resolution styles
The dual concern model of conflict resolution assumes that individuals’ preferred method of dealing with conflict is based on two underlying themes or dimensions: concern for self (assertiveness) and concern for others (empathy).
According to the model, group members balance their concern for satisfying personal needs and interests with their concern for satisfying the needs and interests of others in different ways:
Avoidance conflict
During the conflict, avoiders adopt a “wait and see” attitude, often allowing conflict to phase out on its own without any personal involvement. However, as said before, by not addressing the problem, avoiders risk allowing problems to spin out of control.
Yielding conflict
This style is characterized by a high level of concern for others and a low level of concern for oneself. This approach emerges when individuals derive personal satisfaction from meeting the needs of others. When dealing with conflict, individuals with a yielding conflict style tend to harmonize into others’ demands.
Competitive conflict
The competitive conflict style maximizes individual assertiveness and minimizes empathy. Fighters often tend to force others to accept their personal views by employing competitive power tactics.
Conciliation conflict
Here individuals possess an intermediate level of concern for both personal and others’ outcomes. Compromisers value fairness and anticipate mutual give-and-take interactions.
Cooperation conflict
During the conflict, cooperators collaborate with others to find common ground and satisfy all parties involved in the conflict. Individuals using this type of conflict style tend to be both highly assertive and highly empathetic. A cooperative conflict resolution style is recommended above all others.
Peace is not the absence of conflict, but the ability to cope with it
– Mahatma Gandhi.
